How to be happy

Taking a break from running on the Colorado Trail, near Molas Pass

What is happiness? Last night Jarrod and I watched the documentary Happy, (directed and produced by Roko Belic) and learned that 50% of our happiness is genetic. We all have a "set point" that we easily fall into whether things are going well or going poorly. Aha! So that explains the perpetually happy, bubbly, smiling people in this world! I guess it also explains the perpetually negative, unhappy people. But remember, our genetic makeup only accounts for 50% of our happiness, so there's still hope! Our circumstances, such as income, age, health, appearance, social status, where we live (you know, all the things that we are preoccupied with) only account for 10% of our happiness. Wait, what?! I thought that being young, healthy and living in Durango played a HUGE role in my well-being and happiness!? Nope! That leaves 40%, which is categorized as "intentional activities", or actions that we choose to do that make us happy. That 40% is where we have the most room for growth. Thankfully, they did all the research for us and laid it out very simply. They interviewed top psychologists, neurologists and everyday people from 14 countries all over the world. They found that there are 5 common things that the happiest people in the world all do. The best part about it? They are free and easy to do! This looks different for every person, but whatever these things mean for you, if you make time to do them regularly, you will be very happy:

1. Play & do the things you love

2. Spend time with friends and family

3. Have new experiences

4. Do things that are meaningful

5. Have gratitude 

Side note about money, in case you were wondering:

As far as income goes, money DOES play a role in bringing people happiness UNTIL their basic needs are met. After that, it does not make a difference. So the difference in happiness between someone making $5,000 and $50,000 is tremendous, however the difference between someone making $50,000 and $50,000,000 is zilch. Once basic needs are met, people easily enter the "hedonic treadmill": As they make more money, their desires and expectations also rise, and there is no permanent gain in happiness. Buying something new may provide instant gratification but we quickly adapt to it, the excitement wears off and then we may buy something else that's new, which gratifies us for a short period of time and wears off, and the cycle continues. Wow, it kind of sounds like heroine when you look at it that way, doesn't it? No amount of money above meeting our basic needs will make us any happier. 

Reflecting on my own life, I think I do well at making time for play, having new experiences, and having gratitude (Ask me about the 5 to 1 for 21). I used to do more things in the community that were meaningful when I worked with youth on probation and did service projects with them. I could do more of that now. My biggest void (that I've been aware of for a while now) is not spending enough time with friends and family. I envy people who spend time with their friends and family regularly, without really even planning for it. They just get together at the end of the day or at the end of the week and it's comfortable. I think it's all about having a good balance. Lately, I have been spending a lot of time having new experiences, traveling and playing. Even prior to watching this documentary I've become conscious of that, and I've been purposefully using this down time back home to catch up with friends (and soon this weekend with family). 

What are YOU doing that brings you joy? 

Hiking above treeline on the trail to Sharkstooth, La Plata Mountains

Taking in the majestic Half Dome, Yosemite

Feeling dwarfed by the Sierra Redwoods, Yosemite

Getting ready to kayak on Vallecito Lake (Jarrod and Alpe)

Enjoying the best camping spot ever (with Jarrod)

Time with the girls (Tricia, Rachel and Bekah)

Lake Chabot, CA (with Bekah Hartzog)

Playing with my niece Kalei, Parker, CO

Slow Motion

Exactly one week ago today at this exact time (9:18am), I was fixing my flat tire on Henno Road, on the outskirts of Glen Ellen in Sonoma County. I was on Day 3 of leading my third bicycle tour in wine country. The tour was going great so far - It was a singles group and everyone seemed to be connecting and having a great time. The evening before, we were ahead of schedule and I actually had time to enjoy myself and soak up the luxury of staying at the Fairmont Sonoma Mission Inn. I sat in the most comfortable chairs made of old wine barrels, poured myself a glass of wine (naturally) and called my dad to brag about this wonderful way of life.  

 

As I was riding along with a couple of guests on the quiet, windy road through the humble farmland surrounding Glen Ellen, I suddenly felt the instability of my bike and knew I had a flat tire. Dang thorns! I was glad that I caught it before the descent down to Warm Springs Road. A few minutes later my bike is upside-down, old tube out, new tube in and my arm looks like it's having spasms as I attempt to use my ridiculously tiny pump to fill my tube to 100 PSI. This could take awhile. I think I see an angel as the white, 15 passenger van plastered with photos of people on Backroads adventures approaches. Suzie pokes her head out the window, "Need a spare wheel?" We do a quick swap and I am back on my bike, down Henno Road. 

A mile later, after crossing Sonoma Creek, I am in my lowest gears, climbing up the steep Sonoma Mountain Road. It's a 3 mile stair-step climb, with breaks in-between. Compared to Colorado Mountain passes, the climbs around here are steeper in some sections (up to 18%!), but they aren't as long and sustained. The elevation is also much lower, making it easier (for me) to breathe. I like this climb. Some of our guests choose to skip the climb and shuttle directly to our morning stop at Matanzas Winery. 

I look at my watch. It's 9:50am. Good. My training leader gave me a hard time for not having a watch on my first trip. I don't like wearing a watch. She was so insistent that she gave me her extra watch to wear for the trip. I now have on the old sporty Timex that my mom used to wear when she was in nursing school. It needed a new battery, so I made friends with the guys at Radio Shack and they replaced it for me. As I climb along with two other guests, we all become silent, breathing and pedaling to our own rhythms. My thoughts drift back to our dinner last night. 

We all ate like kings at the famous Santé. I tried the lobster pate with shaved truffles for my appetizer this time. For a moment everything around me was silenced as all my senses focused on the smooth, savory morsel that I just introduced to my taste buds. Such decadence! The waiter comes over and informs me that my co-leader would like to treat me to a glass of wine. I look over to the next table and my co-leader raises his glass and smiles. I'm seated across from a pretty woman in her early 60's who is as sweet as can be. She's delightful and engaging and I am secretly relishing that I am able to enjoy this without feeling like it's straining me to get through the long dinner. As she shares her chocolate soufflé with me I ponder why she's been single all her life. 

As I approach the top of the climb my foot slips off my pedal. I try to click it back into place and I can't get it to stick. What the heck? I'm stubborn and don't want to stop so close to the top so I continue pedaling without being clipped in until I reach the top. It feels strange to lose the power to pull up on my pedal on one side. Upon inspecting my shoe and pedal I realize that the spring in the pedal is broken. Hmph! I'll have to replace my pedals with toe clips for the rest of the trip. I'll make the swap at the winery. By 10:30 we are all at the top of Sonoma Mountain Road. Hurray! Now it's all downhill until the winery. I've been down this road 4 times before - Twice driving and twice on my bicycle. I warn guests that the first section is extremely steep and bumpy and has a sharp turn to the right. One guy starts down and shortly after I follow. Three more are behind me, including the Suzie, our support driver. 

I felt good about my route rap this morning. Since the horrendous route rap I gave on my very first day as a trip leader over a month ago, I feel like I've come a long way. I used the map, I was clear and enthusiastic and set realistic expectations. It was especially rewarding to have everyone's undivided attention and to see the looks of excitement on their faces. I've learned to have my bike ready to go and to have my helmet and gloves on so that I can hop on my bike and ride with the front riders for the first part of the day. 

The descent down Sonoma Mountain Road makes me a little nervous. I take the sharp right turn with controlled speed, and it's a good thing, because a car is coming up the hill as I am going down and makes my turn even tighter.  I continue down the straight, narrow road, gaining more speed, and suddenly my front tire hits a bump (or pothole) so hard that it forces both my hands to come free up off the handlebars...You can probably guess what happened after that. (It wasn't good.) As much as I hoped in that millisecond that I could grab a hold of the bars again, it was out of my control. Instead, my handlebars turned back toward my bike almost 180 degrees, stopping my bike and propelling my body forward, with only the black, bumpy asphalt to catch my fall. It felt like things were happening in slow motion. I think my shoulder and elbow hit first, then my helmet and knee and hip. It's hard to say, since there was no one to witness it and I obviously did not have the most ideal view. I remember the sound of my helmet scraping the ground, and it seemed to go on for a while. I'm guessing that I skid about 10 feet. Are you cringing yet? My apologies to any queasy readers (myself included). The comforting thing is that it wasn't as painful as one would think. The body is amazing at pumping out endorphins when you need them and allowing you to think clearly when you need to. I gathered myself and my bike off the road and sat down. Three guests came down and stopped to help. They did a good job of staying calm with me. I asked them for both my water bottles and to call Suzie to come down. I rinsed my wounds with water and one of the women tried calling Suzie but it was a bad connection. Our German guest (bless his heart) started riding his bike back up that steep bitch of a hill to get Suzie. He didn't have to go very far because between the choppy connection Suzie caught the words "Tracy" and "fell" and was on her way. I looked at my blood covered body and started to feel queasy. I noticed that the band of my watch was just barely hanging on to the watch face. My inner Goddess that could care less what hour it is felt quite satisfied at that moment. The time displayed was 10:43am. When I heard the sound of a motor coming I looked up and that big, white, 15 passenger angel was there to save me again. 

I'm lucky that road rash and sore muscles are the worst of my injuries. I could have broken bones or worse, injured my head. I am pretty religious about wearing a helmet and now I have even more of a reason to wear one. My helmet saved me; there's no doubt about it. 

How I was really feeling:

Another leader filled in for the rest of my trip. It was sad to say goodbye to everyone early, and I questioned whether it was really necessary, but eventually I understood that I needed to take care of myself and let my body rest. Before heading back to Berkeley I took some time to reflect and relax on the bay. I found a little gem, and then a gem within a gem: Café Aquatica in Jenner, California. This beautiful coffee roastery with healthy food, delicious coffee and a great view of the bay, sits in the quiet town of Jenner. I ordered a big salad and a latte and soaked up my surroundings. The woman playing the guitar and singing classic Beatles and Bob Dylan covers added to the serene ambiance.  I better enjoy this while I can. These next few days (and possibly weeks) are going to be rough...

 

 

 

Second Time's a Charm

My second trip leading in wine country went much smoother. We had a smaller group, nobody fainted or went to the hospital, I felt more comfortable with what we were doing/where we were going, and I had amazing co-leaders. The best part was, it was SO FUN! I had more energy to loosen up and connect with guests and it was very apparent that we were all having a great time. On our last night together at a private wine dinner in Healdsburg, I toasted to everyone and told them that it was my second trip leading (which they couldn't believe). I explained that after my first trip, I felt so exhausted and overwhelmed that I wasn't sure if I liked my new job. After this second trip and a great week, I can confidently say that I love it. I thanked them for being such gracious guests. We all clinked glasses and there was talk of them booking a private trip and requesting my co-leader and I so we can all get together again. 

It was a high note to end on. We said our goodbyes after a short bike ride and lunch on Friday, and drove an hour south to Berkeley to unload and clean out the van & trailer. Then I had to say goodbye to my co-leader, Melissa, because she is off to Costa Rica for a few weeks, and then to the Tetons to lead more trips. I just met her 7 days prior, but I felt like I had a new best friend and I didn't want her to leave. It's amazing how quickly you get to know someone when you are spending every moment with them for an entire week. This is her second year leading, so she's used to making close friends and then saying goodbye: It's part of the Backroads lifestyle.  I drove the van solo back to the leader house, did a quick load of laundry, ate some leftover pesto pasta with a glass of Sauvignon Blanc on the deck, and put sheets on one of the 12 twin beds. (What a change after 5 nights in plush kings with turn down service!). By 10pm I fell into bed and closed my eyes until my alarm went off at 3:45am for my 4am shuttle to the airport. 

From this:

To this:

Being back in Durango for the week has been a breath of fresh air. I've been able to rest my mind and do the things that I love here. It felt like vacation at home: I went mountain biking on my favorite trails, floated the river in duckys, went to my favorite yoga class, and cooked lovely meals with Jarrod. A smorgish board of grilled salmon and veggies one night; Another night we roasted lamb with a fresh sage and mint rub from the garden and drizzled it with a red wine and portobello reduction sauce - The Michellin starred Santè that we dine at in Sonoma has nothing on Jarrod's cooking!) It's been such a treat to just be home. Jarrod has all kinds of colorful lettuce growing, as well as tomatoes, kale and soon corn and beans and squash. We've been able to have fresh salads every day. Alpe greets me in the morning, tail wagging and happy and ready for a hike. It's quiet and peaceful in the house and I can just be with little distraction. 

On our last day together we spent the morning mountain biking the high alpine Engineer-Coal Bank trail among the beautiful Colorado wildflowers and impressive Engineer mountain. By the afternoon we were on the river once again in the inflatable kayaks (we set up our shuttle with a car and a bicycle). Then, by the evening we were dressed up and seated at a private wine dinner with a German winemaker and the Chef at Seasons explaining each course and wine that was placed in front of us. It was like having our own private Backroads tour! 

Next week I'll be back at it again with 4 back-to-back trips in wine country. Two of them are support roles, so I will have the evenings to myself. I plan to get out and enjoy some evening rides past the vineyards and on the coast. When I'm in a leading role, I am on my bike every other day and usually get in a good amount of exercise. I like to use the hiking dog analogy to describe my day: Lots of back and forth, checking on everyone in the front and in the back. 

Last week, as I was waiting at a park for the slower riders to arrive, I met an older woman who was also on a bike ride, stopping for a quick break. She told me that her favorite ride was a 49 mile loop from her house and part of it was up Chalk Hill, a climb that some of our guests were choosing to shuttle to avoid the uphill. She grinned and said the climb was the best part. She must have noticed me studying her wrinkled face and offered, "I am 73 years old". I was stunned. She looked great and was obviously very fit. She took a hold of her bicycle and said, "This is the fountain of youth; don't you forget it". She has lived in Sonoma County since '72, before the big wine boom started. She's seen a lot of changes but said that she still loves it. "I've traveled and seen a lot of the world, but I've never found a place that fits me as well as here."  There is something special about home, isn't there? 

First trip, check!

I can now check off leading my first trip of the season. I had two back-to-back trips, one as a support leader, which involves driving the van and having the evenings free, and the other as a leader, which is much more intensive and involves long dinners with guests and more responsibilities. I'm going to be real: the work is extremely exhausting, both physically and mentally. From roughly 7am to 10pm it is game on time with very few breaks to rest your body and head. I personally started the day even earlier and ended later to give myself time to read my notes, prepare talks, and get a grasp on the details for each day. We are expected to know everything from the history, geology, geography and economy of the area, to the elevation, distance and road conditions of the ride, and of course specific information about wineries, restaurants and other points of interest. On top of that, there are about 20 new names to remember and it's important to make connections with everyone because their evalauations of us post-trip carry a lot of weight with Backroads. Physically, we are using our bodies the whole day, loading bikes on the van and taking them down, schlepping around heavy luggage and coolers (we make 4 picnics throughout the week), and in general just lots of running around. 

It was just my luck that on my first trip ever, one of our guests was a journalist, writing a 6 page article about his experience in Bicycling Magazine. He was riding the newly released ebike (electronic bike) and was accompanied by a friend who is an avid cyclist, riding one of our pricey Specialized Roubaix bikes. 

On the very first day I was a wound up ball of stress. My job was to drive the 15 passenger van and cumbersome trailer to pick people up from their hotel, load up their luggage, and bring them to Tamber Bey Winery, where we all meet, have lunch and set off on our first bicycle ride of the week. I manage to deliver everyone safely to the winery withhout getting lost or driving into anything. I'm trying to learn who's who, what exactly I should be doing, and I nervously stumble over my words as I stand up in front of everyone and attempt to explain the route that I've never actually riden. I can't admit that I'm new to anyone because it's important that they feel they are in good hands, with an expert leader. By the end of my speech everyone looks thoroughly confused and I optimistcally add "Don't worry; you'll figure it out as you go!"...Nice. I'm pretty certain that was the worst route rap ever. (My route raps during training went so much smoother!) As we're getting people fitted to their bicycles everyone seems to need something and have questions so I am running back and forth, fetching things and helping people with their bikes. Suddenly I hear someone to my right shout, "Oh my God! He's fainted!" I look to my left and see a man in his late 50s straddling his bicycle, hunched over his handlebars, head hanging low. (Is this seriously happening!?) A group of us rush over to help him off of his bicycle. My co-leader and two guests, who thankfully are doctors, take him to the grass to lay down and I am instructed to entertain the other guests with a bike demo while they figure out what to do. NEWS FLASH! I could be dancing around naked and no one would pay any attention because there is a man (that for all they know could have been any one of them) laying in the grass going in and out of consciousness! It wasn't until the ambulance came and took him to the hospital that the last group of riders left, about an hour and a half behind schedule. 

So THAT was the start of my first trip. And let's not forget that we had a journalist witnessing everything! 

The week tested my mental and physical abilities. The ample supply of gourmet food and wine and plush beds in beautiful hotels were a welcomed treat after working so hard. Also, as a leader I ride my bike with guests every other day, which gave me such mental releif and joy amidst all the chaos. It was also fun getting to know the guests. They all have unique stories and all of them were so happy to be there. (Even the guy who went to the hospital and couldn't ride his bike all week because he tore his rotator cuff). 

Time will tell if all of this is worth it. It's not easy being away from home for this long. Jarrod came out to visit me once already and after he left I couldn't stop crying for days. I am surrounded by people, yet feel so alone. I love all the new experiences, but what I yearn for right now is familiarity. I miss my familiy, my friends, my dog, my house, my town. I miss my Monday night yoga, my regular massages, my favorite trails, the wine shop and mornings at the cafe. Being away really opens your eyes to what you love most. 

For the first time, I'm not afraid of failure. If this doesn't work out for me (and for us), at least I can say that I tried. Years ago, Jarrod told me that the most worthwhile things in life are scary at first. I've found this to be true in so many circumstances. It's essential to take risks in life - those risks can create excitement and fufillment and bring us the most joy. Taking risks also helps you to see what doesn't work and saves you from having regrets later.  We are both taking a big risk without holding back; and for that I am grateful. 

The saying holds true: Distance does make the heart grow stronger (or fonder). I just purchased a plane ticket to fly home for a week after my next trip and Jarrod and I are both SO excited! 

Wine Country!

It was exciting news to get the little slip of paper that told me that I would be leading trips in California Wine Country. 

It's been a whirlwind since arriving in here and it's looking like it will only get busier! The leader house where I will be staying between trips is in Berkeley. Besides coming out here for my interview back in January, I´ve never spent time in Berkeley. I used to always think of California as a big, hussle and busstle metropolis. It's like that, of course, in the cities, but I was pleasanty surprised to discover that Berkeley is pretty low key. The house is in a nice neighborhood that is just a few blocks from restaurants, cafés and groceries and less than a half mile from the bay. 

Pretty cute, huh?

At any given time, there may be up to 12 leaders staying here (3 beds per bedroom). Yep, total dorm-style. People are always coming and going so we basically just claim a bed when we arrive and take the sheets off before we leave. Leaders based here lead trips in Wine Country (to the north), Big Sur (to the south) and Yosemite (to the east). 

Considering the exhorbently high cost of living in the Bay Area it's pretty sweet to be able to live here rent-free!

The day after arriving I was scheduled to take a tour of Wine Country with 4 other leaders to get to know the area. There are several different trips that we will lead and we had just 4 days to see everything for a weekend trip and two 6 day trips. It was a lot of information to take in, but being up in wine country felt so right for me- I love all the little towns, beautiful wineries, great food and coffee and quiet backroads. It's so luxuriouus and rugged at the same time. We spent part of the trip in wine country and part along the beautiful coast near Bodega Bay. We even ride alongside the tall coastal redwoods. 

This castle-like structure is the famous Culinary Institute of America in Napa. At any given moment chocolatiers might be making gourmet chcocolates and pastry chefs decorating beautiful cakes. The students run an award winning restaurant and have food demonstrations and a tasting bar with wine, cheeses and olive oils. It is a food lovers delight! 

Much more to come, but I'll end it there for now. Thanks for reading! 

9 Months Later...

A small seed has been growing inside me. It was planted during my travels to Colombia and has been growing ever since. (Hint: it is NOT a baby!). Although many other women my age (I'm 30 now) may have a baby or thoughts of a baby growing in them, I have something much different. My seed is a desire to experience so much more of our beautiful world. My trip to Colombia has only scratched the surface. It re-ignited my passion for culture, language, landscapes and new experiences. 

I had a slight fear before going to Colombia that it wouldn't be as satisfying as when I traveled in college to Ecuador. That was different. I was young and easily enchanted, I lived with a host family and had a purpose (school). Traveling as an adult would be different. I'm not studying, hostels have lost their luster, and I won't have a host mom that irons my clothes, sits with me for dinner and provides me with a real cultural experience.

Learning to use a "dart gun" in the Amazon: April, '05

My real mom visiting me and meeting my host mom in Ecuador: June '05

I feared that my trip to Colombia would feel like a waste of money and time. Just another gringo girl in a touristy world. What I found was much different. (Evidence of this is written all over my previous entries). My trip helped open my eyes to the world of travel as an adult (aka non-student) and I love it! I want more! I also left with a confidence that I can do anything. Why waste my time working somewhere that I don't enjoy? A desk job in front of the computer all day? No thanks! I like being around people and I like being outdoors. I want culture and new experiences! So when I learned about a job as a bike guide that could take me to all parts of the world, connect me with people, immerse me in different cultures, and get me outside in the most beautiful places I thought, "I should do that!" What a dream!


Lately I feel like my dreams are becoming reality. This past year has felt like a dream. From adventures in Colombia to working alongside Jarrod at the cafe; making coffee for our regulars and escaping to the mountains on the weekends; I've been living simply and feeling happy. Now I am packing my bags to start my new job as a bike guide for a company that can take me to all parts of the world, connect me with people, immerse me in different cultures, and get me outside in the most beautiful places. If this is a dream, I don't want to wake up!